Feelings follow behaviour

Have you ever been in a relationship where one of the partners does something wrong and in turn says “no, I was not thinking?” “I did not know if it would hurt you.”- Ring a bell? Well, this does happen. What I am trying to say is that people do things and behave in a certain manner only to find out that they actually were not thinking or did not feel anything at the time that they did the wrong. Only after the incident do they think that they actually did wrong but it is often too late to think of the next person and actually feel something during or before the act of behaviour which resulted in the fight.