We are what we do

Public Relations is a relatively small industry where people often become successful through the work that they do and the reputation thereof. Thus, it is crucial to constantly leave a clean mark in the things we do.

2 years ago a friend of mine worked at some PR consultancy where she was an Account Executive. As you may or may not know, this is way down on the food chain. This meant that she constantly needed to prove herself in everything that she did at for her line managers and her clients. The only problem is that she was great at what she did however never took much interest in her work – AT ALL. She used to see us making our reports fancy, going the extra mile to prove our capabilities, but she would ignore all of that and do what is asked of her or quite often, less.

Her manager judged her from the work she produced and concluded that the work she produced was all she was ever useful for. This meant that as a PR practitioner, my friend was seen as the girl who did not do much, the girl who did not show initiative or go the extra mile when working on a task. This also meant that through the work she did, this was her primary reputation in the field – which was not good.

So, just before we decide to slack and not unleash our full potential or carry ourselves in a manner that is of benefit to our careers or industries, know that - “we are what we do”.

The truth will set you free

“Guys don’t like girls to know about serious stuff, just smile and keep saying I do not know.” My friend was taking me along on her date and was giving me some last minute advise to help me get a boyfriend too so we can double date.

I had this, according to them, bad habit of speaking my mind and sometimes even disagreeing with a guy and the girls were convinced this was the reason I was forever dateless. I was used to being urged to keep quiet and just keep smiling. On of my cousins says that one of her earliest memories of me, was at a family gathering where little short me was holding court with our male elders and our aunts and grandmothers kept asking whose child I was. I have always been opinionated and am not shy to give my opinion and say if I disagree with yours. My colleagues love to tell me how guys are always asking them who I’m seeing and saying, “That’s a brave man”.

As women, we’ve been trained almost to not have an opinion. We were told and convinced that we shouldn’t have our own views on things; and if we do, it’s deemed unladylike or even disrespectful. Listen to any radio talk show and the majority of callers expressing their views are male.

Many are the times that I have heard a sister express her opinion and after her man had spoken, change it yo agree with him – almost as if she wants to delete from memory het previous lapse into thinking for herself. That baffles me as an opinion cannot be wrong. By definition it’s a “subjective statement or thought about an issue or topic and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts. An opinion may be supported by an argument, although people may draw opposing opinions from the same set of facts.”

My take on things is based in how I see it and therefore there is no right or wrong – simply differing reactions to the same events.

How many of us keep quiet at work because we don’t want to be seen to be rocking the boat? Or agree with our boss or colleagues even though we think differently? How many of us say we love football, or jazz or even certain foods just to impress the guys we have been eyeing forever?

We are not lying to other, but even worse, to ourselves and the truth has a funny way of coming out eventually. What do you think?

We are afraid of the wrong things

Today, South Africa has the highest crime rate, teenage pregnancies and HIV/AIDS pandemic reports. We watch television every day, where we are told how crime can ruin one’s life and the rest of their future, YET , the rate continues soar. South African criminals fill local prisons and you tell me that they have been afraid? Hell no! If they were afraid of the things that they do, our prisons would be empty.

Time and time again, we see Lovelife billboards and TV ads, informing us about the dangers of having unprotected sex leading to teenage pregnancy and HIV/AIDS, YET, the teenage pregnancies  and HIV/AIDS cases of our country, remain one of the highest in the world, and you tell me that we have been afraid? Hell no! If this was the case, our elders would not be faced with the trauma of having to bury our countries youth themselves.

Many of us believe that apartheid has played a huge role in engraving inferiority in our day to day lives. We are afraid to spread our wings and succeed because we fear that someone else will be better than us. We are afraid to voice valuable opinions to the things we believe because we are afraid that we will not be heard or taken seriously. South Africans should start fearing things that should be feared, like landing up in prison for criminal actions, contracting HIV/AIDS and falling pregnant at tender ages because of irresponsible behaviour or to land up not providing for your family due to unemployment because we took the easy way and refused to go get ourselves education. We should start to be afraid of the things that are not of benefit to our live – things that bring nothing but trouble to our lives.

The importance of forgiving – If God forgave, why can’t you?

A very wise person once said to me, forgiving is important in that when you do it you are not doing it for the person that has wronged you, but rather for yourself. I asked her, why is that? She answered me and said “my child, when someone does something wrong to you, they possess power over you, and when you show them that you still have a grudge on them and that you won’t forgive them, they then keep the power over you – so forgive my child and set yourself free.”

I have held those words throughout my life and when someone does wrong to me I never allow them to have a hold on me and my life in any way, shape or form. People think that I am stupid sometimes or even a walk over, but they do not know that I have forgiven them and they no longer have power over me. The day that I accepted those words from my grandmother, I realized that she knew what she was talking about and my life became less complicated. So, if you do not want to live a life where a part of it is controlled by someone besides the Lord Almighty, then start to forgive people that have wronged you. If God could, what is stopping you? Food for though, think about it.

Fish Falling From the Sky

When we grow up we are taught to go out there and do things ourselves. We are expected to no longer need someone to hold our hands for us. Ever heard of the saying “do not give them the fish, teach them how to fish.” This saying described that people should not always be given things on a silver platter, they should work from the things that they want.

The same approached applies to fish falling from them sky. When you think of this you think of food just falling from the sky and one just catching it. In today’s life, we no longer work for the things we have, we have everything easy. For example, we have emails to send messages to people far away from us, we no longer write letters to each other. We now have instant soup, where we are merely just required to add water, it is like fish falling from the sky, we no longer have to fish for it.